While I never thought I would actually ever teach yoga, my life has taken me on a journey that has lead me here.
I left India without my training. I knew it would deepen my practice and I knew I would benefit emmensely from it, but I was not ready. I knew that I would just have to make a trip back there to take it when I was ready. It would happen if it was meant to.
Over the past year or so, I had been actively looking for teacher training programs that would work for me. I almost dedicated myself to driving two and a half hours down island every weekend for the duration of the program to get my certification. I had also looked into a series of ten day intensives, but realistically the travel would eat into my budget and the travel and couch surfing would grow tiresome. Again I put the idea on hold. I really wanted to do it and could not stop thinking about it, but where I live there were no courses being offered.
Then one magical day, word came that the small studio here in my teeny tiny town was going to offer the training!!!! Who knew? I had hoped for it regularly, but who would have figured it would actually happen?
The next obstacle was financing. Not my favourite subject, but after attending the information session I was pumped and determined. I filled in my application form and decided that if other people can do things when they are not financially free to do so, so too could I! I began putting it out there to the universe, telling everyone I knew that I was planning to do it and that it was going to happen. The universe would provide, and it did!!!
It was a definate moment of clarity for me. I had identified exactly what I wanted and made it happen. It made me once again step back and look at my life. In doing so, I realized that the moments in my life where I have made things happen for myself all began with a clear vision and goal. If you do not know exactly what you want in life, exactly what you are looking for, how will you know when you find it?
Monday, November 30, 2009
Thursday, November 19, 2009
My Journey : India
Once I graduated from Chinese Medicine school I treated myself to a trip to Nepal and India. I felt this gravitational pull to this colourful land, that I knew I needed to experience. The first part of the journey lead me through the magical Himalyan Mountains of Nepal and eventually landed me in Varanassi, India. The beauty of India was in the energy that it exuded. There were many times that I travelled after nightfall and arrived in a new village or town in the dead of night only to feel the intensity of the new destination. It was always heavy and undeniably real, yet inexplicable. You could sense the energy so strongly, as though it encompassed you like a warm welcome blanket draped around your shoulders. My experience with India felt like I had arrived home. In a sense I had arrived home. Each place I travelled to had it's own unique feel,it's own energy and it always felt warm and natural. Before venturing from Canda, the people that revealed my solo journey to India to unanimously told me that I was brave and courageous to go there alone, but to me it was an adventure and what I needed to do.
After leaving Varanassi, I journeyed to a small village near Rishikesh called Rhom Jhula, it was a spiritual village, a vegetarian village with no animal products,or alcohol,but a whole lot of religious celebration.
There were so many yoga ashrams and teachers to choose from,it was a little overwhelming to know where to go, so I began my search...
I figured with all the yoga surrounding me that I would soon find a teacher who could guide me to deepen my practice and teach me the lessons I needed to learn. This was not the case. I tried several teachers ranging from Adil,the hitler look alike who barked out yoga poses and direction in a militant manner, to the little man who taught me in a dark back room of his business.
In all truthfulness, I was on a search to find out who I was and the teacher who could guide me. I thought that within yoga and India I would find myself, but my major discovery was that I was never lost in the first place. I was merely hidden behind my own self and my own ego.
My goal was to spend 2 weeks in this little town, do some yoga and head down to mysore to learn from Sri Pattabi Jois, but little did I know that it would take me two weeks to find the teacher who I would connect with. I started out asking around and found a teacher in the next village- I would walk down in the wind and the darkness to meet him for an early session. He would teach me in this back room of his business, he taught me a series of arm balances and we would work on them each day. Something however did not sit right with me so I disconnected myself with this man.
I looked into ashrams and staying there participating in a strict regimented program that I thought would help me find myself. I wanted to get up at 5am do satsang, asana practice, pranayama, meditate twice a day, do karma yoga, philosophy and more asana class. I wanted to be totally immersed in an intense yoga life,a strict program to develop discipline. That did not happen.
I ventured down to one particular ashram and found a yoga teacher that was recommended to me- he taught each evening, and I loved his classes. When I first laid eyes on him, he just radiated joy and his love of yoga oozed out of him. His smile was brilliant and his yoga classes were fabulous. That was just the beginning of my yoga journey. Being in this ashram to take these classes I also heard about the yoga philosophy classes that happened every day for two and a half hours each day. Swamiji the teacher was hilarious and serious about his lessons and introduced me to chanting, sanskrit and all the deeper meanings of yoga.
Some of the other students in this philosophy class spoke of another phenomenal teacher who taught in this back alley, in a room in a house. This room could only accommodate 10 students, so first come first serve. I was definately intimidated, I felt as though the students who went there were advanced and had way more experience than I possessed, which made me feel inferior and made me shy away from finding this back alley. When I finally met Surrinder and had my first class, I knew that I had to stay longer up north. It took me two weeks to find him and Ashok and I was elated to now have such amazing teachers, finally! Who knew how long it would take me to find my yoga teachers once I left. So now, how to decide who to take classes from? I needed not decide, Ashok told me he was also teaching morning classes and that I should join them also. Problem solved, three hours of asana practice in the morning, followed by yoga philosophy class and then meditation on the beautiful white sandy beach on the edge of the Ganges and then off to Surrinder's yoga class in the evening. It was all coming together. I had never really meditated before, but somehow it happened so naturally in this spiritual land nestled in the foothills of the Himalayas, alongside the Ganges, as it flowed from the mountains. It was my life now for months, and it took me months to realize that this hardcore discipline I felt I needed was not discipline at all; it was devotion and dedication and that was what I have come to call it. Discipline was something I was always searching and striving for in my life and never achieving, it was clothed in a coat of negative connotation until I consciously referred to it as dedication and devotion. This created a positive lightness to it that was achievable, and so I embraced it as such. It was not until I stepped back and looked at the life I had so naturally created here in India, that I realized that slowly step by careful step, I placed the building blocks of my own personal practice. I started with a yoga asana class per day, and then added yoga philosophy, meditation, more asana classes and a second meditation session per day and then a personal practice back in my room. Alas, I created exactly what I had hoped to find in an ashram minus the stigma attached, that told me it would be hard to follow and easy to slip off the path. Instead I built a strong foundation and kept on adding and building. This realization was astounding to me! What truly was amazing was that I would never have realized that I had created all of this unless I stepped back, distanced my self from the life I was living. It was an eye opening experience that made me realize that I had created in my mind an emotional attachment, a feeling that I anticipated I would feel when I reached this point. A feeling that I will never feel because it is not an emotion that exists in human nature. My ego invented it and made me believe it was possible if I could be so disciplined.
I continued living in this village for 3 months, living my yoga. I developed a close relationship with both my teachers especially Ashok who gave me more advanced asanas to work toward. He also gave me insight into the life of a yogi while we sipped on hot honey, lemon gingers.
On my journey, I learned that the self I was looking for had been with me the whole time, in my thoughts, ideas, goals and dreams, but I was too blind to notice. I came to learn that all the answers to the questions I will ever have are within me. I just needed learn to listen. It became clear to me that in meditation I could really hear myself and get in touch with all of the gifts, talents, confidence, and natural ability I possess as well as sail through the choppy waters of adversity. A tool to help us to get in touch with all those answers. Through yoga and the presence that it teaches us, we can learn so much about ourselves, how we deal with life and its challenges by looking at how we meet challenges on our mat. I realized how little I knew and how much there was to learn and the only way to access this knowledge is to practice...
After leaving Varanassi, I journeyed to a small village near Rishikesh called Rhom Jhula, it was a spiritual village, a vegetarian village with no animal products,or alcohol,but a whole lot of religious celebration.
There were so many yoga ashrams and teachers to choose from,it was a little overwhelming to know where to go, so I began my search...
I figured with all the yoga surrounding me that I would soon find a teacher who could guide me to deepen my practice and teach me the lessons I needed to learn. This was not the case. I tried several teachers ranging from Adil,the hitler look alike who barked out yoga poses and direction in a militant manner, to the little man who taught me in a dark back room of his business.
In all truthfulness, I was on a search to find out who I was and the teacher who could guide me. I thought that within yoga and India I would find myself, but my major discovery was that I was never lost in the first place. I was merely hidden behind my own self and my own ego.
My goal was to spend 2 weeks in this little town, do some yoga and head down to mysore to learn from Sri Pattabi Jois, but little did I know that it would take me two weeks to find the teacher who I would connect with. I started out asking around and found a teacher in the next village- I would walk down in the wind and the darkness to meet him for an early session. He would teach me in this back room of his business, he taught me a series of arm balances and we would work on them each day. Something however did not sit right with me so I disconnected myself with this man.
I looked into ashrams and staying there participating in a strict regimented program that I thought would help me find myself. I wanted to get up at 5am do satsang, asana practice, pranayama, meditate twice a day, do karma yoga, philosophy and more asana class. I wanted to be totally immersed in an intense yoga life,a strict program to develop discipline. That did not happen.
I ventured down to one particular ashram and found a yoga teacher that was recommended to me- he taught each evening, and I loved his classes. When I first laid eyes on him, he just radiated joy and his love of yoga oozed out of him. His smile was brilliant and his yoga classes were fabulous. That was just the beginning of my yoga journey. Being in this ashram to take these classes I also heard about the yoga philosophy classes that happened every day for two and a half hours each day. Swamiji the teacher was hilarious and serious about his lessons and introduced me to chanting, sanskrit and all the deeper meanings of yoga.
Some of the other students in this philosophy class spoke of another phenomenal teacher who taught in this back alley, in a room in a house. This room could only accommodate 10 students, so first come first serve. I was definately intimidated, I felt as though the students who went there were advanced and had way more experience than I possessed, which made me feel inferior and made me shy away from finding this back alley. When I finally met Surrinder and had my first class, I knew that I had to stay longer up north. It took me two weeks to find him and Ashok and I was elated to now have such amazing teachers, finally! Who knew how long it would take me to find my yoga teachers once I left. So now, how to decide who to take classes from? I needed not decide, Ashok told me he was also teaching morning classes and that I should join them also. Problem solved, three hours of asana practice in the morning, followed by yoga philosophy class and then meditation on the beautiful white sandy beach on the edge of the Ganges and then off to Surrinder's yoga class in the evening. It was all coming together. I had never really meditated before, but somehow it happened so naturally in this spiritual land nestled in the foothills of the Himalayas, alongside the Ganges, as it flowed from the mountains. It was my life now for months, and it took me months to realize that this hardcore discipline I felt I needed was not discipline at all; it was devotion and dedication and that was what I have come to call it. Discipline was something I was always searching and striving for in my life and never achieving, it was clothed in a coat of negative connotation until I consciously referred to it as dedication and devotion. This created a positive lightness to it that was achievable, and so I embraced it as such. It was not until I stepped back and looked at the life I had so naturally created here in India, that I realized that slowly step by careful step, I placed the building blocks of my own personal practice. I started with a yoga asana class per day, and then added yoga philosophy, meditation, more asana classes and a second meditation session per day and then a personal practice back in my room. Alas, I created exactly what I had hoped to find in an ashram minus the stigma attached, that told me it would be hard to follow and easy to slip off the path. Instead I built a strong foundation and kept on adding and building. This realization was astounding to me! What truly was amazing was that I would never have realized that I had created all of this unless I stepped back, distanced my self from the life I was living. It was an eye opening experience that made me realize that I had created in my mind an emotional attachment, a feeling that I anticipated I would feel when I reached this point. A feeling that I will never feel because it is not an emotion that exists in human nature. My ego invented it and made me believe it was possible if I could be so disciplined.
I continued living in this village for 3 months, living my yoga. I developed a close relationship with both my teachers especially Ashok who gave me more advanced asanas to work toward. He also gave me insight into the life of a yogi while we sipped on hot honey, lemon gingers.
On my journey, I learned that the self I was looking for had been with me the whole time, in my thoughts, ideas, goals and dreams, but I was too blind to notice. I came to learn that all the answers to the questions I will ever have are within me. I just needed learn to listen. It became clear to me that in meditation I could really hear myself and get in touch with all of the gifts, talents, confidence, and natural ability I possess as well as sail through the choppy waters of adversity. A tool to help us to get in touch with all those answers. Through yoga and the presence that it teaches us, we can learn so much about ourselves, how we deal with life and its challenges by looking at how we meet challenges on our mat. I realized how little I knew and how much there was to learn and the only way to access this knowledge is to practice...
Sunday, October 25, 2009
How It All Began...
I am not really sure what lead to me sign up for my very first yoga class eleven years ago. Perhaps it was the appeal of longer, leaner more flexible muscles, or maybe it was the idea of improved posture with the possibility that my mere 5"4 frame could possibly grow that desired extra inch or so. At the time I had very little knowledge of what yoga was and was completely oblivious as to how it was going to impact my life, but the idea of hanging from a wall of fixed loops and ropes intrigued me, while the notion of standing on my head instilled a sense of fear, some resistance, and challenged me to step out of my comfort zone.
Over the next few years I practiced once, maybe twice a week, enjoying how I felt while practicing in the classes, but not seeing any big changes in myself until I was hit by a car as a pedestrian.
I suffered from a sublexed T9 in my spine, some shoulder, wrist and hip issues and found myself unable to sit comfortably for more than a minute or two. I could not get comfortable because my alignment was askew, which put pressure on so many areas of my body. That was when yoga became my therapy.
I had gone to physio, but it only seemed to make the situation worse. The issues I was having while walking were becoming more frequent and excruciatingly painful so I left it up to yoga to heal me. Around the time of my accident, (perfect timing really)a couple of yoga studios opened that offered unlimited monthly passes with the option of several classes per day at various times throughout the day, everyday of the week which allowed me to attend more classes and lead me on a quicker path to recovery, not to mention a whole new yoga experience.
Instead of sitting on the couch while watching a movie I would find myself unconsciously moving to engage in some yoga whether it was just a few rounds of sun salutations, downward dogs or a full session in a quiet room. I had benefitted from yoga on a purely physical level. Seeing the improvements in myself built up a trust in yoga and a love for yoga, but this was just the surface and I knew it then. I felt this incredible need to go to India, to be submerged in the culture, learn yoga from those who had learned it from their grandparents, who learned it from their grandparents and so on. I felt I needed to develop discipline for the practice and discover the deeper changes I knew it could offer. It was not until I ventured over to India that I truly learned what yoga is...
I am not really sure what lead to me sign up for my very first yoga class eleven years ago. Perhaps it was the appeal of longer, leaner more flexible muscles, or maybe it was the idea of improved posture with the possibility that my mere 5"4 frame could possibly grow that desired extra inch or so. At the time I had very little knowledge of what yoga was and was completely oblivious as to how it was going to impact my life, but the idea of hanging from a wall of fixed loops and ropes intrigued me, while the notion of standing on my head instilled a sense of fear, some resistance, and challenged me to step out of my comfort zone.
Over the next few years I practiced once, maybe twice a week, enjoying how I felt while practicing in the classes, but not seeing any big changes in myself until I was hit by a car as a pedestrian.
I suffered from a sublexed T9 in my spine, some shoulder, wrist and hip issues and found myself unable to sit comfortably for more than a minute or two. I could not get comfortable because my alignment was askew, which put pressure on so many areas of my body. That was when yoga became my therapy.
I had gone to physio, but it only seemed to make the situation worse. The issues I was having while walking were becoming more frequent and excruciatingly painful so I left it up to yoga to heal me. Around the time of my accident, (perfect timing really)a couple of yoga studios opened that offered unlimited monthly passes with the option of several classes per day at various times throughout the day, everyday of the week which allowed me to attend more classes and lead me on a quicker path to recovery, not to mention a whole new yoga experience.
Instead of sitting on the couch while watching a movie I would find myself unconsciously moving to engage in some yoga whether it was just a few rounds of sun salutations, downward dogs or a full session in a quiet room. I had benefitted from yoga on a purely physical level. Seeing the improvements in myself built up a trust in yoga and a love for yoga, but this was just the surface and I knew it then. I felt this incredible need to go to India, to be submerged in the culture, learn yoga from those who had learned it from their grandparents, who learned it from their grandparents and so on. I felt I needed to develop discipline for the practice and discover the deeper changes I knew it could offer. It was not until I ventured over to India that I truly learned what yoga is...
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